Why is it that we perpetually feel the need to meet the standards that we think society has set for us?
It happens with almost every aspect of our lives. We have to dress a certain way- shop only in specific stores. We have to act a certain way- if not, others may judge. We have to look a certain way- skinny, tan, covered in makeup.
And of course, societal standards are rampant when it comes to relationships. That can be pretty hard on a person who doesn’t fit those standards.
I’ll be turning twenty soon, and I’ve never been in love. Hell, I haven’t even been in a relationship. Yes, there were a few offers, but with my high standards and the fact that they could never be more to me than friends, nothing happened.
Now, I’m in college. I’m surrounded by people- friends, floormates, classmates- all of whom seem to have some sort of relationship. Some have the traditional boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, some go for the random hook-ups, and others have their go-to guy or girl. But I don’t. Hook-ups aren’t for me. And I’m not willing to settle on a relationship. So for now I’m single.
I didn’t care too much about being single, until a certain point during freshman year when I felt that I was sort-of behind. All my close friends had some sort of guy relationship, and I couldn’t help feeling that I was doing something wrong. But any time I considered just finding a hookup, I’d realize it’s not for me. So I was stuck.
Recently, I was talking to some adults. They were telling me about their younger days, and they didn’t start having relationships until their mid-twenties. Yes, to a lot of people that’s late. But to them it wasn’t. And I realized, that’s really what matters.
I didn’t want a relationship because I wanted it, I wanted one because I thought I needed it. It was inadvertent peer pressure. But the fact is, there’s no specific age by which I need a boyfriend. Or anyone does for that matter. I don’t need to toss out my standards to meet those of others. Or those that I think others have. For now, I’m happy hanging out with my friends in the summer sun, going on late walks under the light of the moon, and gazing at stars from atop the car. And whenever the right guy comes along, he can join.